Workin' 9 to 5...Maybe?

Hello Readers!

This is my first unplanned, off the top of my head, probably not edited or husband-previewed blog post. Why am I taking a risk and just winging it this week? Because I have not had a minute to breathe, let alone plan a thoughtful blog for you guys. I have been bogged down and busy. Besides the everyday norm of mothering five children, the chaos I am accustomed to, there have been some relationship struggles, financial realizations, and big decisions needing to be made. I am hoping that staying committed to continuing this business and blog no matter what is going on is a good idea, but this stay at home mama has to find a full time job asap.

I am going to try to keep this as upbeat, but real as I can. I am absolutely devastated. I am fully anticipating a major depression once the "figure it out" phase has passed. I have never had to leave one of my babies as young as Ethan is, let alone with a stranger. At this phase in our lives though, we can not afford our bills without me going back to work, and we do not have other family or friends close that are able to keep him for us. For the first time as a mother, I had to consult daycares. I know, poor me, most of us have to go back after just six weeks, but that wasn't the plan for us, and it breaks my heart.

I have been putting in applications and making calls. I have been researching interview strategies and key words for jobs I am interested in. I have been weighing salary versus hours and flexibility because I am an involved mother of five kids and I never want getting a paycheck to make that harder than it already is naturally. I have learned in my motherhood journey that taking a position that prevents me from being present is not an option unless there is no alternative. Am I being picky when I really need a job, yes. Is that being responsible? Yes, as a mother, it is. I will always put the needs of my children before anything else and if that means we have to downsize and get financially creative so that I am there for them, we will. Yes, I NEED to work, but I also NEED to be able to see my babies light up when they see me in the crowd at their games and shows. Their basic needs need to be able to be met, housing, food, etc and that takes more money than we have coming in right now, but present parents are almost as important, just as basic of a need.

I will briefly hop up on my soapbox and complain that I whole heartedly believe that if I can do my job with a baby on my hip or in a playpen behind my desk, employers should let me! I know that this is an unpopular opinion, but tell me how people complain about the decline in family values and parental involvement, but then do not make helping you care for your children a priority. Some places, I know this is not practical, but there should be a solution to this. If I ever were to get established enough to have a storefront or building to work from, I would without hesitation allow kids to come with their parents if they could still do what they needed to do. Ideally, I would provide on site childcare. In my mind, it just makes sense, but I digress.

Bottom line, I am job hunting and childcare researching. I am going to try to maintain the schedule of content that you all probably haven't even noticed was happening, but any evasive free time I may have will be devoted to my babies if I can. I hope that even if my content is scattered and inconsistent you will still take the time to read my mind clearing monologues and hopefully helpful musings.