Chaos Party of 9!

Here we go, another I am busy, quick, word vomit blog. I have now been working full time almost a week. I feel guilty even saying this, but I LOVE it. Would I rather be home with my baby? Naturally. However, I am really enjoying my new job. I told George that really my office is calmer and more peaceful than home has been these days. We are in full swing of the holiday activities and memory creating for our littles.

I had half a blog typed out and erased it because it was just too pointed. Not untrue, but it put a lot of info out there that some people would get defensive about having publicized because they would look bad. For good reason, mind you, but I am too tired and busy to be bothered by it. Are you wondering what the content was? Me being on my soapbox. I am going to stay up there for a minute. I have always been the friend, aunt, sister, etc that keeps all the kids. I babysit, take them places, take them in as needed, and all the things that go with all that. It has always just been who I am, I can not turn a child away. I can not even handle my kids being away more than a weekend from me without missing them and often crying. All that being said, I can not even wrap my head around those parents that treat parenting like an option. It never has ever occured to me that parenting was a choice. I became a mom, so I am one. All the time. Every single day. My entire life revolves around the children in my home. Every choice and activity depends on childcare availability, nap times, what extracurricular obligations they have, appointments, homework, school events and activities, etc. 

I literally had to RSVP to a Christmas lunch with eight to eleven people, because I have no idea who will be with us on any given day. How many of our kids, how many bonus babies, how many kid’s friends? I won’t know until probably the day before. What will we be bringing? The chaos. All of the chaos. My people, they get it. It’s just who I am. I come with kids, I come with noise and multiple diaper bags. I will be mediating and nursing through every event, but I am always there with whoever wants to tag along with me. 

This season, I plan to try and say ‘no’ a little more. I am tired from hauling all these people and kids from house to house. I am planning to choose peace and less anxiety. My suggestion this week is if the guilt will not drown you, choose what YOU want to do this season. If you dread loading up to go to the light shows because the kids just fight or are bored, don’t go. If your cousin in law’s house is full of fragile knick knacks that she gasps about when your kids get too close, causing you to not be able to sit or breathe easy, don’t go. Golden nugget of therapy this week is this: The people that truly care about YOU will understand that in this particular stage of your life doing what is best for the most people in your house, even if it upsets others, is what the right call is. If they want to still see you, they can come to you. It is flat out without a doubt or debate easier for grandparents to load themselves in their car than for you to load the entire house to bring your family to them. 

This all sounds great in theory. I will have to update all of you on if I am able to withstand the guilt I am sure I will feel at the pressure to go and do all of the activities that I am “supposed” to do. Reminder though, for you all and me: You are an adult. You get to choose to do what brings YOU joy and no one is in charge of your life but you…and your real bosses, those babies of yours.